The tip is the conscious mind; or the part of the mind that is responsible for our every day thoughts. It evaluates, judges, assesses, makes decisions, and rarely rests, except maybe when we are asleep.

There is a much larger part of the mind below the surface; this is the unconscious mind. Although we are not actively aware of it, the unconscious mind is vastly larger than the conscious mind. It is responsible for processing information, making snap decisions, governing emotions, controlling our nervous system, storing and recovering memories, and much, much more…

It is the unconscious part of the mind that stores our potential to learn and grow. It is the part of the mind that truly defines who we are. This is the part of the mind where our values… our real values… reside. These values are often not the same values that our conscious mind espouses.

The values of the unconscious mind are the ones that actually govern our actions. For instance, our conscious mind may tell us, and the world, that we value honesty above all else… yet our actions may contradict the message.

Often times our conscious mind will view the world in “black and white,” or “right and wrong.” Yet, we may find justifications for when we violate what our conscious mind says is wrong. Why? Because our unconscious mind recognizes that the world is not digital, it’s not “0 or 1.” It is infinity. It is not “black and white,” but rather shades of gray. Our conscious mind creates reality from our experiences and cultural upbringing, whereas our unconscious mind recognizes reality for what it is… a mere creation of the conscious mind. A false representation constructed through our senses, which are by definition detached from the physical world around us.

Think about this: Your eyes, ears, nose, skin… all of your sensory paraphernalia… really just collect signals that are then sent via neuropathways to your brain, which is encased in a perfectly dark, soundless, sterile environment totally separated from the outside world. And when the signals arrive, they are then passed through a number of cognitive filters that are created by your experiences, beliefs, and (conscious) values, before they are used to create your map of reality.

In other words, the signals your brain receives are used to create and add to your existing model of the world. In most cases they are made to fit that model. Information that does not fit is either manipulated to conform to your model of reality, or discarded entirely. (Actually, the unconscious mind discards nothing, which as we will see later, is extremely important). This is the basis of what psychologists call confirmation bias, and it is why people can have the exact same experiences, at the same time, and have entirely different recollections and interpretations of those experiences. It is also why people with strong beliefs find it so difficult to view the world in any other way than they have grown to accept it.

The only way to make a real impact on your reality is to access the unconscious mind and unlock alternative interpretations of your sensory inputs. There are a couple of ways to do this. You can do so willingly, through hypnosis, meditation, or some other deep reflective practice. Or, you can be forced to re-assess your conscious interpretations through intense or ongoing traumatic experience. Such experiences create what is known as cognitive dissonance, which makes the false interpretations of the conscious mind so unavoidable and transparent that they must be re-evaluated. In doing so, the unconscious is activated and the process of re-evaluation and growth occurs.

Obviously, the voluntary option is normally much less painful. But even trauma may have its positive effects.

Have you ever had a strong belief that you were so confident in you were convinced it was an absolute certainty? Most of us have, and still do. Some beliefs become so strong, in fact, that they shape the very reality in which we live. They embed themselves so deeply in our being that we automatically reject or ignore any evidence that contradicts them.

The question you have to ask yourself, if you have beliefs such as these – and you almost certainly do – is whether or not they are limiting or edifying beliefs.

What do I mean? Well, what purpose do these beliefs serve? Are they helpful, or are they a hindrance? Do they tend to distort your reality, making it difficult to form relationships for function in other areas of your life, or do they foster relationships and make success more readily available to you?

In many cases, it’s sad to say, beliefs that become so inflexible that they cannot tolerate contradicting are limiting, not constructive or edifying. This has to do with behavioral flexibility. The more flexible you are in your behavior, or the better you are able to adapt to a given situation, the more likely you are to succeed in that situation. Your perceptions of any given situation are largely governed by your belief systems. So if your inflexible beliefs taint your view of a particular situation, you will be limited in how you can respond to that situation, and more prone to failure.

Scientific basis for belief and change (WARNING!!! psychobabble ahead!!!)

There is a scientific basis for this process. Without going into too much mind-numbing detail, neuropsychologists have developed models for general cognition, or how we think. One widely accepted model is the Interacting Cognitive Subsystems model, or ICS. Within this model there are 9 different subsystems that account for all of our cognitions – conscious and unconscious. Two of these subsystems control how we assign meaning to events around us, which I contend is how we create our reality. These two systems are called the Propositional subsystem [PROP], and the Implicational [IMP] subsystem.

The [PROP] subsystem is basically responsible for acknowledging and categorizing new information taken from the senses. So if you try and climb a tree as a kid and fall out of it and break your arm, the [PROP] subsystem catalogues the event in your memory.

The [IMP] subsystem assigns judgment or value to the events that are registered by [PROP]. In the example of tree climbing, the [IMP] subsystem labels the event of breaking one’s arm while climbing a tree as “bad,” or “traumatic.”

In the case of really painful or traumatic events, the [PROP] and [IMP] subsystems may create very powerful beliefs, like “I climbed the tree, and fell and broke my arm, therefore climbing trees is bad,” or “… if I climb a tree I will break my arm…” These same beliefs may be created if a less traumatic event happens frequently.

The problem is, that the beliefs that are created by [PROP] and [IMP] are not always logical or true. Nevertheless, once they are embedded, they become your perceptual reality, which some would argue is the only reality that matters. These beliefs can also be incredibly difficult to break or overcome.

That AHA!!! moment…finally…

There are a number of ways to overcome even the most inflexible of beliefs. Hypnotherapy has been shown in clinical studies to be a very effective tool for belief and behavioral change, as have some forms of psychotherapy. These methods work to “reprogram” the [PROP] and [IMP] processes to introduce alternative meanings to events – a process often referred to as “reframing.”

However, there are ways you can reprogram your beliefs without a therapist. One is to use self-hypnosis, or meditation, to fully explore your beliefs. By learning to reflect deeply you can, with time, also learn to detach the meaning from traumatic or repetitive events and change beliefs and habits.

Sometimes we experience a traumatic event that forces us to rethink our beliefs. This type of a change works on the principle of “cognitive dissonance,” where the evidence that contradicts a belief is so strong that it cannot be ignored. In essence, it overrides the [PROP]  [IMP] process and forces new meaning on the past events that formed the belief itself.

So how do I start changing potentially limiting beliefs?

1. Deep reflection. Develop the skill of introspection, or being able to deeply reflect, without judgment, on your inner thoughts, attitudes, beliefs. This is a skill that may take some practice, or even guidance from someone who is already skilled in this area. But developing this skill is absolutely necessary for the steps that follow… and for general personal growth. Specific practices that are often used for deep introspection are meditation, self-hypnosis or other deep relaxation techniques.

2. Recognition. First, you must recognize which beliefs may need modification. You can start to do this by looking at a particular goal or habit you have, then examining your attitudes and thoughts about it. When you see thoughts and attitudes that are limiting; i.e. – thoughts that have negative words or meaning such as “can’t”, “always”, “never”, etc. – that should raise alarm bells and you should examine how they contribute to or hinder your progress.

3. Reframe. After you have identified thoughts, attitudes, or beliefs your would like to change, learn to reframe them, or put them in a different context. For instance, if you have developed a phobia of climbing trees because you broke your arm while doing so as a young child, begin to change the thoughts you associate with climbing trees. If you immediately think “Ill break my arm” when you think of climbing a tree, learn to actively replace that thought with something like “Climbing that tree didn’t cause me to break my arm. Being distracted by the squirrel that was in the tree cause me to slip and fall. Climbing trees is perfectly safe as long as I pay attention to what Im doing.” Now, when you first attempt this there may be some skepticism. But if you keep at it your beliefs will eventually change as new information is introduced to the [PROP]  [IMP] process.

As I said above, sometimes our beliefs may be so ingrained that we need help in breaking them. If you have such beliefs, and they are having a negative impact on your life, there is absolutely no shame in asking for help. The only thing you have to lose is limitation.

Sometimes I am asked, “what is the difference between meditation and self-hypnosis?” 

The best way to answer that question is by comparing two examples.

Let’s use John for our first example. 

John is an over achiever.  He is goal-oriented and always puts the mission first… even at the expense of relationships with his co-workers. 

John is not stupid, though.  He knows it’s important to get along with others at work.  He also knows that his focus on meeting his goals sometimes comes across as arrogance, or like he doesn’t really care about other’s opinions or feelings.

John wants to change the way he comes across to others, but still wants to meet his goals.  He realizes that he won’t be promoted unless he can do both.

So, John visits a hypnotherapist and tells her his story.  They talk about his goals and she recommends that he learn to hypnotize himself so that he can work to change the way he views achievement and relationships with others. 

The hypnotherapist teaches John how to hypnotize himself and guides him through the first session. 

When John gets home that night he decides to try it out. He begins by relaxing as much as he can on his couch.  He closes his eyes and begins to breathe slowly and deeply, counting each breath. 

As he breathes slowly and deeply, he lets himself notice his muscles relaxing.  After about ten slow, deep breaths he feels very relaxed… almost as if he is floating over the couch.

John then imagines a warm glow above his head, and begins watching the glow move into and through his body… first the crown, then temple… eyes… chin… and down the neck… to the shoulders and back…

The glow continues to each major part of the body until it’s flowing everywhere.

Now John is in a deep trance and can go to work.

John begins talking to his subconscious mind.  He states that he knows that he is very good at his job and can achieve any goal… and that he can do so while making the people around him feel good.  He knows that he can recognize the importance of working with people to achieve goals, and that he is great at team building! 

He affirms these strengths over and over again, and imagines himself achieving his goals and sharing the victories with his co-workers.

After realizing that he can both achieve his goals while building strong relationships at work he allows himself to slowly come out of his trance, feeling totally energized and feeling very confident.

As John repeats this self-hypnosis exercise and affirmations each day he notices that his performance at work and his relationships with his co-workers steadily improve. 

He finds it easy and fun to ask questions and opinions, and accept help from his co-workers.  And they love working with him and helping him.  Most go out of their way to help John achieve his goals. 

His boss notices the changes and John gets that promotion!

Now let’s talk about Jane…

Jane is a good performer at work, just like John.  She has also just been promoted.  But Jane, unlike John, has never really had a problem building relationships at work.  In fact, she has always solved problems and achieved her goals through building teamwork. 

The problem now is that Jane’s new assignment is confidential, so she can’t really ask for others for opinions or help… she has to do it alone.

Jane has all of the experience and the skills she needs to do her new job very well.  Her boss knows this, which is why he gave her the assignment.  But Jane needs to build her confidence and unlock those resources.

She speaks to one of her mentors, someone she respects and often goes to for advice.  She can’t ask her mentor for advice on the specific job because she can’t tell anybody what she is doing.  But she does explain that she will be without her team for the first time, and that she is very nervous.

Her mentor suggests that she meditate daily on the problem and let the answers she needs come to her. 

Jane knows how to meditate.  She does it regularly to relax after a tough workout, or when she has had a long day at work.

When she gets back to her office she shuts the door and hangs a “Meeting in Progress” sign outside. 

She sits in her comfortable leather chair, closes her eyes, and begins breathing slowly and deeply… in through the nose, and out through the mouth… until she feels herself relax.

Jane begins to count her breaths.  She notices that as she is breathing thoughts and worries begin to flood her mind… what if she can’t do what she needs to, what if her friends and colleagues think she is being a snob because she can’t talk to them about her new assignment… what if… what if… 

But as these thoughts rush into her mind, Jane simply lets them pass.  She does not judge them, or dwell on them… she just watches them drift through her mind like passing clouds until they disappear…

She continues to focus on her breathing until she feels like she is floating on air.  She knows she is in a deep trance.  

She does not worry about the thoughts that continue to float through her mind.  Her subconscious is aware of them and will provide the answers to her worries and problems.

After meditating for about 15 minutes, Jane slowly opens her eyes feeling more confident than ever.  She knows that she has built lasting relationships and trust at work, and that her co-workers will know she is not ignoring them, but just focusing on an important job.

She also realizes that while she has built strong relationships and teams, that she has given at least as many answers as she has received when working on tough projects… and she is ready for this one…

So what’s the difference?

Both self-hypnosis and meditation can be used to unlock the resources of the subconscious mind. 

Both rely on trance to allow the conscious you, and the subconscious you, to speak to each other.

Both are very powerful for finding answers and resources you do not know you have. 

Both can be used for relaxation, confidence building, improving performance at work, at sports, or anywhere else for that matter.

In my opinion, the only difference between self-hypnosis and meditation is in the “packaging.”  Meditation is most often associated with religion, or the martial arts, or some other metaphysical or mystical thing. Although meditation is used by priests, monks, martial artists and the like, it is really very practical and is also used by many who have no interest in those things.

When we think of self-hypnosis we normally do not think of monks or priests.  Usually we think of people staring into spinning wheels or flashing lights.  And these sorts of tools are very useful for inducing trance… but not necessary.

The reality is that both self-hypnosis and meditation are very similar in practice, both are very practical, and both are almost identical in their results. 

Both use trance to unlock subconscious resources and open channels of communication between the conscious and subconscious minds.

So what’s the difference, then?

So I guess I am saying that in my opinion… there really isn’t much of a “technical” difference at all.  But, there is a difference in practice. 

When we make use of self-hypnosis or meditation we are most often in what is known as the Alpha state, which refers to a specific range of frequencies our brain waves are in.  The Alpha state is the first state between sleep and wakefulness, and is where our subconscious minds become most accessible.  In common terms, when we are in an Alpha state we are in a trance. 

When we are in a deep trance we may even enter into the Theta state, which is the state following Alpha that places us closer to deep sleep.  Theta is really a “twighlight” period, where we are not fully asleep, but not fully awake.  This is where daydreams generally occur.

But if I were to try and the distinguish the two I suppose I would say that self-hypnosis is more active and goal oriented.  When we make use of self-hypnosis we are generally doing so with a specific purpose and plan.  We are actively seeking to communicate something to or learn something from our subconscious mind.  The communication is often two way communication.

In meditation we are often seeking to let go of our conscious mind.  A common goal of meditation is to attempt to clear the mind of conscious thought and live “in the moment.”  In doing so we learn to accept our circumstances more easily and reduce stress in our lives.  The result is that we may often see our situation from different perspectives as we let go of judgment and bias.  By letting the things that color our perceptions go we can address our problems or challenges with more creativity and perspective.  The aspect of “letting go” and accepting implies that the communication between the conscious mind and unconscious mind is “one-way,” with minimal inputs from the conscious mind.

So which one is best?

Both self-hypnosis and meditation are equally powerful methods of accessing the subconscious mind.  Generally, I use self-hypnosis when I am seeking to accomplish something specific, such as changing a bad habit, achieving a specific goal, etc. 

Meditation for me is a regular practice intended to teach myself perspective, how to live in the moment, and how to reduce stress in my life. 

I recommend that my clients make use of both of these powerful tools for releasing the power of the subconscious mind.

You may not realize it, but you are on a journey right now. The journey is your life and you are navigating this journey using a map. That map represents your reality. It is created as you move along your life’s journey based on your experiences. As you experience different things, you form beliefs and values, and learn to perceive your world in particular ways, thus creating the map that you follow. And the way you perceive your world creates your reality.

The map is not the territory
But here is the thing. The map is not the territory! Your reality is not necessarily “real,” except to you. Your perceptions of any particular situation, person or event may be vastly different than those of anybody else experiencing the same things, in the same place, at the same time. Since each of us creates our own reality through our perceptions we can say that there as many different individual realities as there are individuals… and each of those realities may be as flawed as the other.

What does this mean!?
One of the consequences of our flawed realities is sometimes we end up in conflict with others around us. Take the healthcare debate as an example. The healthcare system in the US is what it is… so why is there so much confusion around whether and how to fix it? Some may claim that a great deal of the confusion is a result of disinformation by one or the other, or both, political parties, or by special interest groups, etc. etc.

While it may be true that there is some disinformation being introduced to the debate, I contend that there would be equally as many passionate opinions on the topic if everybody had complete and accurate information.

Why? Because we would not interpret that complete and accurate information in the same ways. Our individual beliefs, values and perceptions would serve to create realities that differ significantly from others’ realities. Many would embrace the notion of a public system despite the costs, while others would decry it because of the costs… even if the costs of such a system were agreed by everyone.

How can we overcome our reality?
The good news is that we don’t have to accept or be a slave to the realities we create for ourselves. Once you realize that your reality isn’t the only reality you can learn to change it. Doing either requires us to have belief flexibility, or the ability to challenge and modify our beliefs to enable us to accept differing views of reality. Essentially, we need to be able to change or remove the filters that create our realities so we can see and take advantage of alternative possibilities.

By developing flexibility of beliefs we are able to adapt to the world around us in positive ways, rather than attempting to mold the world to fit our own belief system. When we learn to view the world around us with acceptance we create more accurate maps of reality, and open ourselves to more and better experiences and opportunities.

Belief flexibility should not be confused with being non committal, “wishy washy,” or willing to believe anything. Indeed, allowing for flexibility in beliefs enables us to participate in deeper introspection and participate in our own process of growing and evolving as purposeful beings.

When we accept this process we become stronger individuals through our flexibility of beliefs as we are better able to entertain possibilities of reality that were previously shut off from us due to the filters of our previously rigid belief systems. We are able to perceive our environment more accurately as these filters are removed and are less prone to being victimized by “spin” and dogma that others may use to control or direct our thinking because we are able to objectively analyze what is being presented to us and make informed decisions about what we should believe or how we should act in any given situation.

Developing belief flexibility
There are a number of ways to develop flexibility of beliefs. Some common methods are NLP, hypnotherapy, and various forms of psychotherapy. Many times we are forced to challenge our own beliefs when we are faced with situations or questions that cause cognitive dissonance. This happens when we are presented with a situation that directly contradicts our beliefs, causing us to question the validity of that belief. We are forced to either modify the belief that is being challenged, or accept a distorted reality.

In terms of developing belief flexibility individually, I find that setting aside periods for deep introspection and self-reflection is most useful. This time can be spent in some form of meditation, journaling or simply reflecting on the days events and how I responded to certain situations.

I personally practice a combination of all of the above methods, although I do not use each daily. As an intern working towards licensure as a therapist I make use of regular therapy sessions myself once a week, and I meditate and journal daily. When I have a particular belief I feel I need to question or assess I may use NLP or hypnotherapy techniques as well.

If you are new to the idea of developing belief flexibility I would recommend beginning with a daily meditation and journaling. You can make great progress by using these methods to identify the beliefs that have served as filters on your experiences, and question them with alternative plausible interpretations. Over time this will become easier for you, and ultimately almost second nature. You will be amazed at how much more of “reality” you actually see.

Did you know that you can hypnotize yourself? That’s right; you don’t need anybody else’s help to go into a trance. Self hypnosis is relatively easy to do, and there are a lot of reasons why you would want to do it. Here are just a few.

Here are five things you can use self-hypnosis for:

1. Stress relief. If you are like most people today there is some stress in your life. The economy is bad, the boss always wants more and may even want to pay you less for it. And the uncertainty of when things are going to get better just adds to the pressure. You may also be juggling a lot of other things as well. All of this stress is bad for you. It can make you ill… in the body, mind and soul. It’s important to find ways to get rid of stress in a positive way. With self-hypnosis you learn to think about the things that cause you stress differently and either solve them or accept them (we call this “reframing”). You also learn to relax deeply which helps remove the physical and mental symptoms of stress.

2. Relaxation. Relaxing is good! And there never seems to be enough time to do it. Why is relaxation so important? When you are relaxed you think more clearly, making it easier to solve or reframe problems. You are also more friendly and approachable, so you can make relationships better. And when you are relaxed you don’t build up stress, which means you will be healthier.

3. Get rid of limiting self beliefs. Sometimes we have deeply held beliefs that hold us back. For instance, we may think things like “ I can’t do math,” or “I’ll always be fat,” or other negative things. The thing about these types of beliefs is that they are true… as long as you believe them! Self-hypnosis is great for removing limiting beliefs and replacing them with new, positive beliefs like “I can do really well at math if I try,” or “I’m carrying a few extra pounds, but I’m not fat… if I want to I could lose the weight.” And just as limiting beliefs limit you, positive or affirming beliefs set you up for success.

4. Help make important decisions. Sometimes we are faced with important decisions that may change our lives, and we may not know what to do. Even thinking about them may make give us a headache, or confuse us even more. The good news is that your subconscious mind is really good at figuring out tough problems. By using self-hypnosis to access your subconscious mind and help you make tough decisions, you are actually using the most powerful part of your mind. Your subconscious can process much, much more information much faster than your conscious mind. Sometimes after pondering a decision or problem during your self-hypnosis sessions, you may be surprised to find that the answer “just appears” to you. And most of the time the decision you make using this method will be aligned with your most deeply held values, which is a huge plus.

5. Get rid of bad habits. Are you a smoker who has tried everything to quit? Or do you find it impossible to pass up a jelly donut? Self-hypnosis can help you break the habit by changing how you think about these habits. For example, you may absolutely love and need that jelly donut. But using self-hypnosis you can program your mind to be indifferent to it… or even to hate it. You can literally change the way you think about it.

Here is one way to do it

1. Decide on a goal. What would you like to accomplish during your session? Be specific. Is there a presentation at work you need to prepare for? Are you training for a marathon? Do you just want to relax? Break a bad habit? Lose weight? Is there something else you want to achieve? Here is a great one: are there any questions you would like to ask your subconscious mind?

2. Find a quite place where you will not be disturbed, and where you can relax for 15-30 minutes.

3. Sit comfortably. You don’t need to be in the lotus position or anything like that. You can even lie down if you want… just don’t fall asleep! Whatever is comfortable and keeps you awake works. Play around with it and see what works for you.

4. Begin by breathing deeply. In through the nose, out through the mouth. This part is sometimes called the relaxing stage of self-hypnosis. The goal here is to let your body and mind relax. The tenseness in your muscles should leave, and your mind should become calmer. Sometimes I count my breaths, or visualize them as mist or even light as the come in and go out. During this stage, you will almost certainly find, at least at the beginning, that your mind is very active. You shouldn’t try to stop thoughts from coming into your mind. Just try not to dwell on them. I sometimes imagine the thoughts as floats in a parade going by…

5. When you are relaxed and feeling comfortable then its time to start the deepening stage of self-hypnosis. This is where you will really go deeper into the trance state. There are a lot of ways to deepen your trance, I usually imagine myself at the bottom of a long spiral staircase, and visualize myself climbing up and up and up…. until I find a magic beach. The beach is magic because on this beach I can be whatever I want to be, achieve whatever I want to achieve, know whatever I want to know… Anything and everything is possible on this beach… Once I am in this place I can move on to the final stage of the self-hypnosis.

6. I call this stage the working stage. Here I actually visualize myself accomplishing whatever goal it is that I have decided to work on during the self-hypnosis session. For instance, if I want to loose weight, I imagine the new, slimmer me. Not only do I see myself how I would like to look, but I also feel how it is to be slimmer. I feel healthier, more agile, more energetic, more attractive, happier… I even see and feel how people relate to the new me.

The key here is to experience every aspect of the new you once you have achieved the goal.

7. The final step, what I like to call the terminal stage is when I come back to the conscious world. It’s important to ease your way back, as you will be extremely relaxed after a good self-hypnosis session. When I am finished with my work I usually visualize myself leaving my magic beach as my new self, and walking back down the spiral staircase. When I am finished with my trip I slowly open my eyes and gently stretch. I always feel great because I know that I have done what I set out to do. After I’ve stretched I slowly get up and go about my day feeling totally refreshed and positive.

Beliefs are powerful things.  They can limit or empower us.  The good news is that you have the ability within you to change, eliminate or create your beliefs. 

A belief is an opinion about something, or how something should be.  Although we often accept many of our beliefs as fact, they really are all just self-imposed rules we live by, and do not necessarily reflect actual reality.

We have beliefs about everything – about other people, about ourselves, about relationships, about nearly everything we are aware of – if even on a subconscious level. 

Some of these beliefs are more concrete than others, but all of our beliefs act as filters on our perceptions of the world around us.  They often act as self-fulfilling prophecies.

If you believe you are not good at math, you probably won’t be good at math because you will not work on getting better, or you will develop a fear that keeps you from being able to work math problems.  If you believe you aren’t likable, then you may act in ways that make people not like you.  If you will never be rich, you probably won’t take the steps you need to become rich.

These beliefs are examples of limiting beliefs.  A limiting belief is exactly what it sounds like.  It is a belief that somehow limits us, or sometimes even those around us. 

One way to identify a limiting belief is to write down some of your beliefs.  Those that begin with phrases such as “I can’t…”, “I’m no good at…”, “I’ll never…”, “I haven’t got time to…”, or some other negative or limiting statement are likely limiting beliefs.

By changing or eliminating limiting beliefs, and replacing them with positive, enabling beliefs, you can kick open doors and achieve things you may have never imagined were possible.

In the same ways limiting beliefs act as self-fulfilling prophecies, so do enabling beliefs.

So how do you eliminate limiting beliefs and create enabling beliefs?

Overcoming limiting beliefs

Your beliefs are formed by your life’s experiences and are often formed at a very early age, sometimes even before the age of 5 or 6 years old. 

Even though you form many of your beliefs at a very early age when you have limited life experiences, these beliefs may follow you through your entire life.   But they don’t have to. 

The good news is that you can change your beliefs and the reality that has been created by your beliefs.  There are many ways to do this:  psychotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming, time line therapy, hypnotherapy, and the list goes on.

Here is one way you can start challenging and changing your limiting beliefs in the comfort of your own home. 

Think about a belief that you know is a limiting belief and that you would like to change or get rid of.  Really pay attention to the way that belief “feels.”  When you think about the belief, do you have a picture in mind?  Notice the details of the picture, or feelings that are associated with the limiting belief.  Is there sound?  What kind?  Is it loud or quite?  Strong or soft?  Really notice all the details.  If there is a picture how is it displayed in your mind’s eye.  Is it close or far away?  Centered or off to one side?  Is it in color or is it black and white?  Can you see yourself in it, or are you seeing it through your own eyes?  Is it a movie or is it a still frame?  Think of and try to notice all of the details.

1. After you have really studied the details, or what we call “submodalities” of the limiting belief, go ahead and move it aside, out of your mind.
2. Now think of a belief that you used to have, but no longer do.  In other words, think of a belief that used to be true for you, but no longer is.  Think about all of the submodalities of this belief, just as you did in the limiting belief.
3. Once you have studied the submodalities of the belief that is no longer true for you, go ahead and move that former belief aside.
4. Now here is the fun part!  Go ahead and bring back the original limiting belief, the one you worked with in step 1.  Now, in your mind, change the submodalities of this limiting belief to exactly match the submodalities of the belief that is no longer true for you – the belief in step 3.  Really work until the limiting belief looks, feels, smells, sounds, exactly like that belief that is no longer true.
5. Once you have finished step 5, go ahead and remove the belief from your mind again.
6. Now, how do you feel about that old belief?  If you no longer feel that the belief is true or valid, then the process has worked!  You just got rid of that old limiting belief!  If you still feel the old belief may be true then repeat steps 1 through 7 over again until it is gone.  Each time try to really be aware of all the submodalities involved, and ensure you are switching the submodalities of the limiting belief to those of the old belief exactly.

But we are not done, yet!  Now that you have eliminated the old limiting belief, you can replace it with a more positive enabling belief using the same method.  Here is how:

1. Think of a belief that you feel is absolutely true.  This belief must be extremely strong for you.  For example, you may believe, without a doubt, that gravity is real.  Really make sure you absolutely, without any doubts whatsoever, know that your belief is true.
2. Just like before, go ahead and notice all of the submodalities you can about this absolute belief.  Really get into the details.  Now remove the belief from your mind.
3. Now think of a belief that you want to have, and that is the opposite of the original limiting belief from step 1.  Think about the submodalities of this belief, again in great detail. 
4. Now change the submodalities in the belief that you want to have to match those of the belief you know to be true – the belief in step 8.  Spend some time and really match them up until they are crystal clear in your mind.
5. Now, how do you feel about the new belief, the one you thought of in step 10?  If you feel strongly about it, the change has worked!  If you don’t feel absolutely certain keep repeating steps 8 through 12 until you are certain the new belief is true.

This may seem like a lot of mental gymnastics – and it is!  However, it really does work.  The idea behind the process is that how we think about our beliefs – the submodalities we assign to them – matters.  By matching the submodalities of former beliefs to limiting beliefs, we actually change the way we think about the limiting beliefs. 

 The same is true for the new beliefs.  We can create new beliefs by making their submodalities match beliefs we already have.

A final word about beliefs

Now, it goes without saying (I hope!) that there are some things that are not influenced by our beliefs.  Gravity is a good one.  Whether or not you believe in gravity does not change the fact that it exists. 

So if you believe that you cannot fly when you jump off the roof, you are probably right unless you have some kind of mechanical assistance.  This is not a limiting belief, but an actual physical reality.

What limiting beliefs are holding you back?