Created by Dianne Lowther of Brilliant Minds NLP. Visit her at www.brilliantminds.co.uk

1. Lack of Clear Purpose
I’ve seen lots of presentations that contained interesting, maybe even useful, information but still left me thinking, ‘So what?’ And I’m sure you have, too. This is what happens when the presenter lacks a clear purpose. The presentation rambles around, covers various topics but never really seems to come to a point.

To avoid this, take time before you start to prepare your presentation and clearly identify its purpose. Then, when you prepare your presentation, only include material that is relevant to that purpose.

2. Preparing the slides, but nothing else
How often have you had to sit through a PowerPoint presentation that, frankly didn’t need a presenter? You know the sort of thing I mean, each slide is densely packed with bullet points that the ‘presenter’ then reads out. I usually just read the slide and then wait for the ‘presenter’ to catch up!

To avoid this one, prepare the presentation first, then the slides. Too many people seem to think that their slides ARE the presentation. No, the presentation is what YOU say and do. The slides are secondary.

3. Starting with an apology
Some people think that if they begin with an apology, “unaccustomed as I am…” or something similar, then their audience will expect less of them and be more forgiving if they’re not very good. Wrong! Your audience expect – and I think they have a right to expect – you to be good. To be worth listening to. To deliver value.

Never, ever begin with an apology. Your audience are hoping that you’ll be good. Act as if you will be good, even if you’re not as confident as you’d like to be. Telling them you’re nervous or inexperienced or just off a red-eye flight will only get them looking for the faults in your presentation. Give them something else to think about.

4. Trying to be Funny
Some people have a gift for humour, others don’t. We’ve all suffered at the hands of a presenter who peppers their presentation with weak jokes or tries to make witty comments and fails miserably.

So be honest with yourself, do you have the gift of humour or not? If you’re in the latter category (like me) then accept it and don’t try to be funny. It’s a myth that people will like your presentation more if you tell jokes. Actually you’re just wasting time. Have a clear purpose and fulfil that purpose and your audience will listen and will respect you.

5. Not Knowing When or How to Stop
This, for me, is the greatest giveaway of an inexperienced presenter. They might do a great job of presenting what they prepared, then when they get to the end they either repeat themselves endlessly or just tail away rather lamely. Some do both. If they’re fortunate there will be a slick and experienced Chairman who can intervene. If not, we’re all in trouble.
The answer? Prepare the ending as thoroughly as you prepare your opening. Decide on the final thought you want to leave your audience with and work out how to deliver it for maximum impact. When you’ve delivered it, STOP. What could be easier!

Recently, I read an article on CNN.com that asked the question, “How rich is rich?”

This started to make me think about the question of “How much is enough?” If you recall, my very first post on this blog was about how we define success. In America, it seems to me that success is defined by material wealth. We place a great value on “what we do” (our job), where we live, what car we drive, and how “healthy” our 401k is. Many Americans are proud of the fact that we work 50, 60, or even more hours per week. Those who don’t work long hours are often perceived as unambitious, or even lazy.

In short, our work, and the material wealth it brings to us, becomes our identity. Don’t believe me? Try this: ask ten people to tell you who they are, and I’ll wager that at least eight of those ten people will tell you what they do; e.g. – I am Chris, and I am a lawyer; I am Lauren and I am in marketing, etc. etc.

Instead of talking about their family, hobbies, spirituality, or any of the things that truly define who a person really is, most of those you ask this question will focus on their job. I have conducted this experiment hundreds of times in seminars, social gatherings, and even at bars, and the trend is the same; people describe who they are in terms of their jobs.

What’s wrong with this?

I am not here to say that there is anything wrong with basing one’s identity on their job. We should take pride in our work, and when we truly enjoy what we do our work can bring joy and purpose to our lives.

My question is whether America’s work ethic is a result of the pure joy and purpose our jobs bring to our lives, or a matter of seeking to fulfill these needs with more toys. If you are working 50+ hours per week in a job you truly love, and one that brings meaning and fulfillment to your life, then perhaps you have found your path. On the other hand, if you are working simply to accumulate “more,” then maybe its time to take a step back and assess your life’s work.

Is the sacrifice worth “more?”

Part of this assessment is understanding what you may be sacrificing to gain “more.” When I speak of “more,” I mean more stuff; e.g. – more status, more money, a bigger house, a nicer car, a bigger TV… in other words, more material wealth. How much is it all worth?

Is it worth chronic stress, and the resulting mental and physical health problems? Is having “more” worth sacrificing a deeper relationship with family and friends? Is it worth not having the time to work on personal growth and development; e.g – reading a good book, meditating, exercising, learning?

Finally, is it worth never learning who you truly are? Is dedication to “the job,” and earning “more” worth surrendering your personal identity to the profession?

Only you can answer these questions.

So, how much is enough?

I’ll be honest. I like “stuff” as much as anybody. I understand the appeal of having “more.” I drive a BMW, have a pretty nice house, a purebred beagle, and like having money to go out to dinner occasionally. But, the question I regularly have to ask myself is how much is enough?

As with most things, I think the answer to this question (for me) is finding a balance between having a comfortable lifestyle while still maintaining the ability to continue on my path of learning and personal growth.

This is a balance that is sometimes very difficult to achieve. My wife will be the first to tell me that I try to do too much all at once. She provides some of the balance I need by being demanding when necessary. And for that I am grateful… even if not at the precise time she is being demanding!

Striking the balance

Here are some of my recommendations for striking a healthy balance:

Develop a plan. Understanding what is most important in your life is an essential first step in finding balance. You can’t get to balance if you don’t know what you want it to look like.

Developing a plan for a balanced life must start with some serious introspection. Meditation, therapy, talking with a mentor, or just sitting in quite contemplation of what it is that you want out of life for yourself and your family are ways to begin to clarify what is most important, and what balance looks like for you.

Develop a good support network. Having family and friends who value living a balanced lifestyle, and have shared goals and ideas, is a necessary part of keeping an even keel. As I mentioned, my wife is a great aid to me as I am one of those people who simply must achieve (aka, Type A personality).

Another great way to develop support networks is to subscribe to blogs (like this one!), or other local groups that promote healthy and balanced living. One of my favorite sites is Balance in Me, but there are dozens of others out there as well.

Start by taking small steps. For most people the move towards balance can seem daunting. After all, most employers would not understand your desire to work 10 fewer hours per week. And, the strain of simply quitting your day job may be too much for you, or your family, to handle. After all, the life you have built for yourself should not necessarily be simply tossed aside.

However, you can start making a transition to the balanced life you seek by working 1 or 2 fewer hours per week, designating a night each week for quality family time, or 20 minutes each day for personal development or exercise, etc. By building on these small steps you may be surprised how quickly your life can be transformed.

Revisit your plan and progress often. Let’s face it. Most people do not start out life seeking to become dissatisfied and imbalanced. Typically, imbalance results from ideas that are placed into our heads during school, like “Being an artist is a waste of time, choose a career you can make a lot of money at.” The next thing you know, you are climbing the corporate ladder, and before you know it you look down and wonder… “would I be happier as an artist?” Then the mid life crisis sets in…

So, the moral of the story here is to pay attention to your life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Periodically reflect on where you are at, and where you are going. A regular meditation schedule and an active support network can keep you on track.

So you now know what mentors can do for you, and what to look for in a mentor, now we will talk about where to find a mentor.

Finding a mentor can be a daunting prospect for those who have not already actively sought a mentor before. But take heart, unless you have been living in isolation all of your life, you have had mentors in the past. They could have been teachers, coaches, friends, or your parents! So put the fear and trepidation behind you and go out and find those people whom you respect and feel could be good advocates, coaches and support for your in pursuing your career and life goals.

Potential mentors are all around you. Good sources of mentors include almost any of your close associations. These could be within your own company, such as your management team, or peer groups. Some companies have established professional groups for the purpose of encouraging networking and development of mentoring relationship. Seek these groups out, or if they do not exist perhaps lead the charge in developing them.

Other sources may include industry or professional associations, such as Project Management Institute for project managers, or the Institute for Supply Management for supply chain professionals. Online communities such as LinkedIn, Facebook or MySpace provide excellent potential for networking and meeting potential mentors. If you are a religious person you may consider establishing mentoring relationships with your clergy and/or members of your congregation. Another often overlooked source is professors or alumni associations.

You may also consider people that are outside of your workplace or profession, such as retirees, local business owners, consultants and people who share similar interests or hobbies. The local Chamber of Commerce, or local social clubs are often excellent venues for networking with the potential mentors.

Again, it is important that prior to beginning your search for a mentor, or mentors, that you do some soul searching and understand why you want a mentor. What are the goals of the relationship? Having done this you will be in a much better position to identify potential mentors when you see them.

In the first article of the mentoring series, Mentors, we talked about the value of having a network of mentors you can tap to better your personal and professional life. Now we will talk about what you should look for in a mentor.

There are many types of mentors. There are peer mentors, or mentors of equal status or rank, who exchange information or advice amongst each other. This type of mentoring relationship works on the basis of reciprocity. When actively pursuing this type of mentoring relationship, the most important factor is trust, both in terms of trustworthiness, and in terms of trusting the expertise or judgment of the perspective mentor. These types of mentors are often easiest to find, and the relationships are usually informal.

Information mentors are those whose role in the relationship is to provide information or advice, and in many cases to act as a teacher to the mentee. Many organizations have formal programs that connect new employees, or employees moving to new roles, with information mentors. This type of mentoring is very useful when you need to “learn the ropes,” so it is always advisable to find such a mentor when you are entering a new position. The key criteria for choosing an information mentor are the reliability and accuracy of the information being provided.

As odd as it may seem, you may find potential mentors amongst your company’s competitors. Known as competitor mentors, these individuals may work in a similar position to you, but in different companies or industries. The support, information and advice is usually expected to be reciprocal, and great care must be taken to maintain the validity of the relationship.

The final type of mentor discussed in this article is the retiree mentor. These individuals are highly experienced and possess significant institutional or industry knowledge. Additionally, the retiree mentor may pass along insights or “soft skills,” such as political awareness, influencing skills, and perspectives through the mentoring relationship.

Regardless of the type of mentor, it is important that you as the mentee understand what you would like to get out of the relationship, and what you have to offer. The specific criteria for your mentor choices should influence the characteristics you are looking for in a mentor, such as specific information, experience, wisdom, or something else.
There are some common characteristics that any mentor regardless of type or purpose should possess. After all, you will need to develop a working relationship with this person, and in some cases even personal friendships. Therefore it is important that the individuals you approach to be mentors have personality traits you are comfortable dealing with. Furthermore, as you will potentially be sharing sensitive conversations with your mentors, you should be able to trust them and their motives. They should be forthright and honest, even if what they have to say is not what you want to hear. And most importantly they should add insight and new ideas to your thinking. Mentors after all are meant to inspire and motivate. They are not usually meant to reinforce the status quo.

The mentoring model has changed over the years. In most cases it is no longer based on the traditional model of an older, wiser, battle scarred veteran taking a new kid under his wing to teach him or her untold secrets of success. The new model encourages development of multiple mentoring relationships, sometimes spanning across industries or job functions, where there is mutual benefit. Indeed, many of the older, wiser veterans are encouraged to take on younger mentors who may be more attuned to current modes of operation. After all, if a seasoned veterans like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Jack Welch have mentors, shouldn’t everybody?

Be sure and come back next week for the next installment in the series: Where to find a mentor

A good friend of mine contacted me the other day to let me know that he had been promoted to a senior management position in his company. Of course I was happy for him. After all, I hired him into the company, and was his boss for many years. I enjoyed working with him and it is easy to understand why he has succeeded in his goals so far. He is good with people, has sound judgment, is energetic, a quick learner and is considered by his peers and bosses to be a subject matter expert.

Not only was I happy for him, but a bit proud of myself if I am honest. His success validated not only my judgment, but also the advice I have given him since I left the company in pursuit of other opportunities. And one of the most valuable pieces of advice I gave him was to develop a network of mentors who could help him navigate through the treacherous waters of corporate advancement.

A good mentor is a valuable resource, regardless of your position or title. Whether you are a high school student, in the military, or the CEO of a global corporation, finding suitable mentors can serve as a source of information and inspiration that can help you improve your career and personal life.

Good mentors are coaches and confidants. They always challenge you, and teach you to challenge yourself, to do your best. They inspire confidence and can serve as valuable networking resources that may help you recognize opportunities you had not considered. They are dedicated to helping you learn how to succeed, and giving you the extra kick in the pants or reality check when you need it. They listen to your challenges in confidence, and assist you in exploring new possibilities and courses of action. Mentors do not solve or find new opportunities for you. The best mentors cultivate self awareness, insights, and problem solving skills that you use to better yourself.

Finding good mentors can be daunting, particularly to those who are new to being mentored. However, overcoming the anxiety of approaching a perspective mentor and cultivating a good mentoring relationship is well worth the effort.

Be sure and come back next week for the next installment in the series: What to Look for in a Mentor