We all have one… a monkey mind. What is it? It is the phenomenon of the uncontrolled, unquiet mind. The mind that is constantly bombarded with thoughts of every kind. Sometimes the thoughts are related, and a lot of times they are not. In fact, when we are not actively engaged in some specific activity that requires concentration – and sometimes even when we are – many of our thoughts are random. And there are lots of thoughts!

And these are just the thoughts we are aware of! (See my blog post on unconscious thoughts).

Why is monkey mind bad?

Many (most?) people live their entire lives with a monkey mind. Some people have such a bad case of monkey mind that they cannot focus, or become overly anxious about everything. In the extremes monkey mind can cause mental illness, lack of sleep, irritability, and general lack of direction in life.

But for most of us, the effects of monkey mind are not as extreme as that. We may loose sleep occasionally as we worry about how our boss will react to a presentation we did, or about an argument we had with a spouse or good friend, or about a major life decision. But we typically don’t obsess for very long on anything, so the fluid movement of our minds from one topic to the next may happen without our even noticing.

Still, even this unconscious stream of thought can have effects on our attitudes, beliefs, motivations, and path in life. (Lots of links here that should be useful to understanding how the unconscious mind, beliefs, and motivations affect the way we think and live our lives – I highly recommend you check them out).

How can you tame the monkey mind?

Taming monkey mind is simple… but not easy. All you have to do is learn to quite your thoughts. Simple. Then again, Buddhist monks spend their entire lives trying to do just this, and most never really succeed totally. But the good news is that total victory is not required to really improve your life. So here are some possibilities:

1. Learn to accept the monkey in your mind. One of the problems with monkey mind is that we tend to pay attention to all those thoughts, judge them, and let them play with our emotions. Once we do this, they are likely to cascade into even more thoughts, and the monkey mind starts to really play. One way to get over this problem is to simply acknowledge thoughts that are not relevant in the present moment, and let them pass without judgment or too much attention.

2. Be calm… learn to meditate. If you have read my blog at all you probably know I am a big fan of meditation. Well, there is actually a ton of research (literally) that supports the claims that meditation (specifically mindfulness meditation and transcendental meditation) significantly effects the continuity of our thoughts. What I mean by this is that regular meditation helps us focus our thoughts. One possibility of how this happens, shown on EEG’s (measurements of electrical activity in the brain) is that meditation actually synchs up the different regions of the brain responsible for working memory, meaning that the brains activities become more focused on the tasks or problems at hand.

Regardless, regular mediation can have profound affects on how we think and respond to our worlds. I highly recommend looking into it!

3. Eat right and exercise. The mind-body link is undeniable. Even MD’s that once discarded the power of the mind over physical well being are now coming around and accepting holistic practices. One of the key findings in the “new medicine” is that our diet, and our physical fitness, seriously influence the way we think and react to things that happen to and around us.

I think it really comes down to chemistry. We know that exercise releases neurochemicals in the brain that are related to mood and concentration. We also know that exercise and diet regulate our blood chemistry. Anybody who has had a low blood sugar attack knows how blood chemistry can affect our moods and ability to think in a coherent way. So look at your diet, and get your body moving. You will be amazed at how much doing these two things can help tame the monkey mind.

So these are three possible ways to tame the monkey mind. There are no doubt many others. Please share your ideas!

Suffering = Pain x Resistance

This is a formula developed by Buddhist teacher Shinzen Young to describe how our suffering is not caused by the pain (physical, emotional, or psychological) we experience, but by our resistance of it. In other words, suffering is not caused by the actual events that we experience, but by our reaction to them. When we struggle against our experiences, we suffer for it. The path to eliminating suffering is to fully accept our experiences.

While this concept of suffering has its origins in Buddhism, it is not exclusively Buddhist. Many therapists in the West have embraced the philosophy of acceptance. Indeed, research into acceptance based therapies has shown them to be as effective, or more effective, than traditional therapies for some mental conditions, such as anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and others.

But you don’t have to be diagnosed with a mental condition to benefit from acceptance. Learning to accept your experiences is also a key part of learning and growing from them.

But how can accepting a bad experience be a good thing?

In order to understand how acceptance works, its important to differentiate between suffering and pain. According to the philosophy, pain itself is not subjective. Its part of the reality of experience. If you hit your thumb with a hammer, it hurts. If you break up with your partner, it hurts. If a loved one dies, it hurts. There is no avoiding that pain. However, you can choose how you relate to that pain. The way you relate to the reality of pain determines how much you suffer because of it.

This may seem like a crazy notion to many, particularly those of us from Western cultures, where we are taught from birth that pain is something to be avoided or limited. But when you consider that pain is almost always accompanied by emotion, it begins to make sense (at least I think it does;) ). If you can think of a time when you were in pain, and allowed your emotions to run wild, versus another time when you were in pain, but were able to keep a cooler head, you may find that your suffering (not your pain) was less when you were in control.

This is an example of how pain and suffering are not the same thing. In fact, martial artists, athletes, and the military train to separate the pain from the suffering to enable them to push beyond normal physical and emotional limits. Marathon runners learn to live with the physical and psychological pain of running 24 miles. There are countless stories of how military members in combat continue to fight on despite horrific wounds. Holocaust victims and prisoners of war report that their ability to accept their situations and remove themselves from the pain they experienced enabled them to survive and even thrive during their captivity.

These are all examples of how changing the way we relate to pain changes the way we experience it. By doing so we not only eliminate suffering, but can also have a great influence the world around us.

The paradox… and how it works

After reading that last sentence, you may have thought, “Hold on! Wait a minute! How can I accept what is going on and change it?” This is the paradox of acceptance.

Think about a time when you were really – and I mean really – attached to an idea or particular way of doing something; e.g. you were being really really stubborn. Maybe somebody you knew or worked with had a different idea than yours. If you were dead set on your own idea, how would you react to the other person’s idea? If you are like most people, you would probably fight for your own point of view even if all evidence showed you were wrong, and maybe even get a bit emotional about it. You may not even realize that the other person’s way of doing the thing – whatever it is – could be a better way. By being unable to consider the other’s point of view, you eliminate the chance of creating a better outcome.

If we become wedded to a particular way of doing something, and continue to try and do it the same way over and over even though it does not work well – or at all – we forfeit the possibility that we can actually change the situation.

Both of these are examples of how not accepting reality – that someone may have a better idea, or that the way we are doing something does not work – causes suffering and prohibits us from being able to change it.

On the other hand, if we could remove emotion and look at reality in an unfiltered way – in other words if we could accept reality for what it is – we put ourselves in a position to expand our awareness, use our creativity, and consciously respond to the situation instead of simply reacting to it emotionally. In this way we have much more ability to influence reality.

Acceptance and personal growth

Acceptance greatly increases your ability to grow as a person. In fact, personal growth is impossible without it. A key element of personal growth is the ability to self reflect, or to see ourselves for who we really are, and who we could become. If we are unable to accept our flaws, weakness, or shortcomings, we cannot hope to ever overcome them.

This is the same paradox discussed above. By not accepting ourselves for who we are, we may be tempted to fight against our flaws, creating greater suffering and actually deepening the flaws by obsessing over them. But, if we can look at ourselves, and acknowledge that we have flaws, and look at these flaws non-judgmentally, and accept them, then we unblock our ability to improve ourselves.

For example, let’s say that I am horrible at math. If I deny that I am horrible at math, and refuse to accept that I am horrible at math, how can I ever hope to improve my math skills? If I don’t accept this flaw, I won’t feel compelled to study more, take a class, or find a tutor. Or, I may decide that math just isn’t important, and avoid the flaw altogether. Both situations are potentially very limiting.

But if I accept that I am horrible at math, and look at the flaw objectively (without judgment), then I open up the possibility of finding ways to improve my math skills. Doing so not only results in improving those skills, but also in self-awareness, which leads to personal growth.

Acceptance can be a difficult concept for many, particularly in Western societies where we are taught to not accept bad situations or imperfections. We are taught (or at least I was) that in order to change we never accept imperfections, and must fight against them. This sometimes works, but more often than not, is the source of great suffering – even if the outcome is eventually good.

Acceptance may also be misunderstood as pacifism. This is not the case. Acceptance really means accepting reality for what it is. In doing so, we are able to view that reality non-judgmentally, without emotion, and open up the possibility of responding to reality consciously, not instinctively. Conscious responses are always more effective than reactive responses, and give us much more flexibility to deal with and change our reality.

Integrity is another of those slippery concepts, much like “character.” When people talk about integrity, they often do so in the context of being honest. This is certainly an aspect of integrity.

However, this honesty extends beyond telling the truth to others. More importantly, integrity means being truthful with ourselves. For the purposes of this post, I will refer to this kind of truth as internal integrity, although there really is no separating being truthful to oneself, and being truthful to others.

Being truthful to oneself may seem easy – almost automatic – but I suggest that most of use are in fact big fat liars when it comes to internal integrity. The majority of people in the world, or at least in modern, industrialized nations, are very much out of touch with who they really are. How can somebody possess internal integrity if they are living a life that others dictate for them?

What do I mean? Since early childhood we are conditioned to follow social and moral rules. Don’t get me wrong, many (most?) of these rules are absolutely good and necessary to maintain peaceful society. But others serve only to stifle personal development, and more specifically, growing to be the persons that we really are.

For instance, society’s (at least our society’s) rules for success are roughly: obey all rules, hang out with the right people, do well in school, go to college, get a great (e.g. – high paying) job, etc. And even after we do all of that, more rules still apply: conform with company policies, fit in to corporate culture, network with the right people, climb the company ladder, make even more money… That is how society defines success.

In short, we are brought up to conform to societal norms and succeed by society’s standards, not to “find our true selves.” In fact, in the U.S. taking time out from the path of “success” to “find oneself” is considered by most to be rather flaky.

Many people are so disconnected with who they are, so entrenched in living the life society expects them to live, that this whole notion of being one’s true self is beyond comprehension.

But in order to possess integrity, one must do exactly that. How can someone have integrity if they are being who and what society wants them to be, and not being their true selves? In essence, they are lying to themselves, and often are unaware that they are doing so.

Being our true selves

So what does it mean to be one’s true self? I propose that being one’s true self means being aware of, and acting in a way that is aligned with, ones inner self. That is to say, having a deep understanding of one’s own thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and values, and acting in a manner that is consistent with them.

In a nutshell, being oneself means acting and being on the outside the way we actually are on the inside. To do otherwise is a lie.

Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said that the deepest form of despair is to “choose to be another than himself.” In essence, to be someone who lacks integrity. Someone who acts in a manner that contradicts his true being.

Kiergegaard goes on to hypothesize that being ones true self is the deepest responsibility of a person.

Learning to first understand who we really are, then to live that way, is the goal of personal development.

It requires staring hard at our internal states, emotions, and thoughts – regardless of how turbulent they may be, and reconciling them with values that are truly our own (not dictated by society). It requires knowing ourselves in a deep way – knowing our own strengths and limitations, and accepting both with unconditional positive regard.

When we try to deny these things about ourselves, or struggle against them, we are living without integrity.

This does not mean that we should not seek to improve. One of the paradoxes about acceptance is that great personal growth often comes when we accept things we do not like or understand. This acceptance often actually results in change, while struggling against who we really are results in pain and stagnation.

This website has a number of posts that talk about the “how’s” of personal reflection and growth, so I won’t get in to them, here. But I encourage all of my readers to think about the meaning of integrity, and think about how closely aligned their life is with who they really are.

Carl Rogers, the famous humanistic psychotherapist, said that the #1 question every single one of his clients struggled to answer was “who am I? Really?” According to Rogers, to not know, or to know and not act accordingly, is the largest source of psychological suffering.

Although I love YouTube, and there is a ton of great content on it, I typically do not republish. However, this video is an exception. It is beautiful in its simplicity and power.

What do you think?

Character is a slippery topic. Do a Google search on character and you will find dozens of different definitions and concepts of character. Many of these focus on moral qualities, such as trustworthiness, honesty, loyalty, courage, etc. But these qualities, while they may contribute to character, do not really capture the essence of what having character actually means. After all, each of these qualities are highly subjective; for instance, what it means to have courage to one person or culture may be entirely different to another. And loyalty is problematic as well, as sometimes we are caught between conflicting loyalties.

So how can we define character?

If character cannot be defined in terms of distinct moral traits, then how can it be defined? I propose that character is best defined by behaviors, and the outcomes of those behaviors. More specifically, I think the best definition of character I have come across is doing what is necessary to achieve a goal.

This definition is devoid of moral judgment, which as mentioned above is not absolute. When we really think about character we think about accomplishing goals in the face of adversity. In sports, a team is said to “have character” when they overcome overwhelming odds to achieve victory. In combat we say a soldier, sailor, airman or Marine displays character when they stand in the face of superior firepower and risk their own lives to save others or to accomplish a mission. In school, a student is said to have character if she studies hard in a difficult topic to pass an exam.

I propose that this same definition – doing what it takes to achieve a goal – applies in life in general.

Morality revisited

For some, this definition may be offensive to some degree because it has no overt moral base. Some may say that in each example above their are moral traits being exhibited; e.g. loyalty, courage, dedication. I do not argue this is not the case. As I mentioned in the beginning, moral traits may contribute to character. But in my view they do not define character.

What defines character is seeing the goal, and striving at all costs to achieve it. In the process of striving to achieve the goal, a person may suffer greatly, sacrifice greatly, and have to make tough choices. The ability to endure in the face of these adversities, and make the right choices, is what real character is about… not abstract or subjective notions of morality.

What do you think? Please comment!

A few years ago I had a client whose chief complaint was that he had difficulty building and maintaining good relationships. He felt he was in a state of near constant conflict with others. He argued with his family, his girlfriend, his friends, and his co-workers. In fact, the “final straw,” and why he decided to come in for counseling, was when a co-worker filed a complaint against him for an argument during which my client physically pushed the other man.

As I worked with the client, it became apparent to me that he did not really like himself very much. He was not what I would diagnose as clinically depressed, but he did not have a great deal of self esteem. I began working with him to identify his automatic thoughts that preceded several conflicts that he had experienced with others.

As I expected, many of his thoughts were distorted, negative, and often hostile. He seemed to automatically assume the worst in many situations, which triggered defensiveness, and in many instances, hostility towards others. I worked for several months with my client, identifying the cognitive distortions that escalated his defensive reactions. He began to journal regularly, and started dissecting the situations and thoughts where he felt he over-reacted.

Not surprisingly, he developed a greater ability for restraint as he began to recognize situations which would likely end in conflict. He began to be more aware of his thoughts and the way he felt in his body as his defensiveness grew. However, while he became more able to control his temper and his reactions, he still felt tense and uncomfortable, and often vented after the event.

Two types of self-talk

While there are many different kinds of cognitive distortions, there are basically two types of self-talk. One form of self-talk is directed outward. This is the self-talk that you use to describe what you perceive is happening around you or to you. For example, if you are confronted with someone who makes a comment about your shirt, you will have a series of thoughts about that person and that comment. These may be positive, negative, or neutral. But these thoughts are important as they shape the way you view your external environment. They play a huge role in constructing your external map of reality.

It is this type of self-talk that my client was beginning to learn to control and modify to be more positive. His thoughts were often negative, and his external reality was one that was full of criticism and danger. His thoughts created a world in which he had to be on the defensive. It is easy to see how his world was full of conflict.

The second type of self-talk is directed inward. It is how we talk to and about ourselves. This inward directed self-talk plays a large part in how we feel about ourselves. It affects self-esteem, and also plays a role in shaping our maps of reality. Typically, a person with a low self-esteem will view the world differently than someone with a high self-esteem. For instance, a person who does not believe his needs will be met in a relationship – either because he does not feel worthy, or strong enough to maintain boundaries – may lash out against others, either to force them to meet his needs, or perhaps to undermine the relationship entirely. In this person’s reality, this is safer than fostering a relationship, or compromising.

Unfortunately, this strategy usually fails to achieve the person’s needs being met – either the other party leaves, becomes resentful and refuses to cooperate, or otherwise withdraws – reinforcing the feelings of unworthiness and lowering self-esteem even further. As you can see, this may easily become a cycle in which the person’s cynical map of reality is supported and strengthened.

As we continued discussing my client’s discomfort in personal relationships, and the automatic thoughts that often occurred during interactions with others, it became apparent to him that much of his negative self-talk was directed at himself. Thoughts like, “I can’t do anything right!”, “I always screw things up, so why even bother!”, or “I’m such an idiot!” were common with my client. He slowly came to the realization that fixing his externally directed self-talk was an important step in improving his relationships and hapiness, but not enough. As he said in one session, “how can I really like anybody else if I don’t even like myself..”

A lesson to be learned

There are a lot of valuable insights to be gained from this case study. There are lessons about boundaries, cognitive distortions, the importance of self-talk in creating our individual realities, and the role of self-esteem in our relationships. All of these are important.

However, the message I really wanted to convey in this case study is that we should seek to be aware of our internally directed self-talk. If this self talk is regularly negative, judgmental, or derogatory, then we are essentially attacking ourselves, and weakening our own self esteem. The results can be damaged relationships, failure to achieve our goals, lack of fulfillment, unhappiness, and a general cynical outlook on life. In the extreme, they can result in severe depression, or even suicide.

During one of my final sessions with this client, we were discussing his progress and how he might continue to work on his self-talk in the future. I knew he “got it” when he paused, looked up at me, and said, “I am going to try and speak to myself as if I were my own best friend.”

Last week I wrote about how I ensure, or at least try to ensure, that I do not lose my best ideas. (When I speak of ideas in this context, I am speaking of ideas for projects, not abstract ideas, like, “Wow! That eclipse the other night was funky!”). As I mentioned, I get a lot of ideas for projects. And sometimes it is difficult to remember them all, so I try to either write them down as they occur, or record them on my voice app on my phone. One of the consequences of capturing all, or at least most, of my ideas is that I end up with far more than I can work on at any given time. I also come up with some that are just too far out there to seriously consider, at lesat in the near term. So I need a way to prioritize my ideas; that is, to decide which projects to work on first, and which ones to get rid of altogether.

Assuming you also have a lot of ideas for projects, so many that you cannot work on all of them, then you may face similar challenges. This post will give you one method for prioritizing your ideas. Because my background, or at least part of it, is in project management, this approach is broadly based on the same methods that businesses use to decide which projects to implement, and which ones to shelve.

Which ideas to keep?

The first step in prioritizing a list of ideas is to decide which ones are worth pursuing at all, or which ones to keep. To do this, I suggest starting with a quick sanity check. Look at your list of ideas and decide which ones are actually important or interesting, what the outcome or consequence of actually completing the project may be, and what effort may be required to complete the project. In other words, ask yourself:

Is this project worth doing at all; is it realistic in concept?
What would I gain from completing this project?
Can I realistically expend the energy and resources to accomplish this project?

After going through your initial list of potential projects, and asking these questions, you will probably find that many of your ideas get put at the back of the list because they are either not as interesting or realistic as they seemed to be at the time of inspiration, they don’t really provide enough benefit to make them worth pursuing, or you simply don’t have or cannot put forth the time, energy, or resources to get them done.

This does not necessarily mean that you get rid of all of the ideas that don’t pass this first test. Some you will decide are too far out there to actually work on… ever; these you will discard. Others you may decide are interesting, and may yield a benefit, but you simply don’t have the time and resources to work on them; these you will most likely store away and take another look when you are better able to accomplish them. And the remaining ideas will be the ones that pass the test, and are worthy and capable of being accomplished in the relatively near future; these are the ones that you will then prioritize.

Prioritizing your ideas

Once you have short-listed the ideas that you are able to work on in the relatively near future, you will likely need to decide the order in which you will complete them. For this, you may want to use the well-formed outcome.

While it may seem like a lot of work to complete well-formed outcomes on all of your short-listed ideas, doing so is a must, and may save you a lot of grief and wasted effort in the long run.

The purpose of completing the well-formed outcome is to understand your idea better, to reflect on why you want to pursue the project, what will completing the project require of you, and what the outcome of the project will be. All of these are important in deciding which projects you will work on and in what order.

In fact, you may notice that these are the same types of questions we asked when deciding which projects to keep. The difference here is that the well-formed outcome forces you to really reflect on, and write down, the answers to these questions. Doing so should help you prioritize which ideas to work on first, and which ones to work on later.

A few tips

If you are like me, it may be difficult to discard an idea… even if it seems impossible to accomplish. I just get too attached to my ideas to kill them, sometimes. The problem is that if you try to work on too many ideas at once, you may not complete any of them, or you may not do as good of a job as you could on the ones you do complete. You may also find that by working on too many projects you start to earn the resentment of your friends and family.

There is a way to deal with this and still keep your sanity, and your personal relationships, alive. When you are prioritizing your ideas, try and do so with the idea that you will only work on a couple at any given time. This means that instead of working on all of your great ideas that have made the short list (which could still be a hundred great ideas), you will take the top 2 or 3.

You may also want to decide how much time you will spend on projects each week, and then use that to decide how many of your ideas you will work on at any given time. The idea here is to maintain a balance between all of your commitments. Again, by completing well-formed outcomes on all of your top ideas you should get a realistic view of what the consequences are of working on each project.

Each year at about this time I, like most people, sit down and set my goals for the coming year. Typically, I open up the file where my goals from the previous year are kept, and take stock of my achievements. I am never really disappointed, but I often find that while I have accomplished a great deal over the past 12 months, much of what I have written down on my list is still incomplete, and much of what I have completed are not on my list.

What this tells me is that I’m not really writing down what I need to achieve, and perhaps some of the things I have written down do not fit in with what I really value, or want to achieve. Some of my resolutions tend to get transferred from one year to the next because I simply cannot stand to leave a goal left unachieved, even if that goal is no longer relevant.

In a nutshell, I set myself up for failure.

Now, some of you may relate to what I’m writing. Others may not. But this is honest self-disclosure happening here! But I have a plan to change things… and here it is.

1. I am not going to open up that file. And I am not going to review my 2010 resolutions. Instead, I am going to start with a clean sheet of paper, and develop goals that are truly meaningful to me, and are aligned with my values. My goals are going to be tangible (that is, measurable), reasonable, and impactful.

2. Instead of having a long list of resolutions, as I usually do, I am going to set down only a few; 3-5 max, that are really important to me. I am not going to try and become perfect, or accomplish everything I want to do for the rest of my life in 1 year. But what I do accomplish will be fulfilling and rewarding.

How am I going to do these two things? First, I am going to brainstorm, and make the long list of “want to do’s.” Then, I am going to spend time meditating and reflecting on each, and continue to do so until I have narrowed that list down to my Top 10. Once I have done this, I will write out well-formed outcomes for each. Yes, I will actually write down (or type in my case) the well-formed outcome for each potential goal.

Once I have my well-formed outcomes, I will then reflect on these Top 10, and select only those that will have the most significant impact on my life, and on the life of my family. I will select only those that have significant impact, and I will select a maximum of 5 goals.

Having selected those three goals, I will frame each of those 5 goals and hang them in my office, next to my computer screen, where I will be able to see them every single time I sit down. I will also schedule, in my calendar, 30 minutes each week to reflect on each of my resolutions. During this time I will revisit each goal, assess my progress, and ensure each is still meaningful to me as my life changes. I will be flexible enough to modify my goals, but when I do, I will revise my well-formed outcome for the goal – in writing.

In short, I am going to set myself up for success.

What, if any, changes are you going to make to your New Year’s resolution strategy?

Inspiration doesn’t usually follow a schedule, at least not for me. Many of my ideas seem to flash across my neural network (aka come into my mind) at rather inconvenient times, like when I am driving, just about to fall asleep, or at other times when pen and paper aren’t handy, or when I simply cannot write them down.

So what do I do when inspiration strikes?
Of course, if I am able, I write down as much detail as I can about my ideas when they come to me. But sometimes that just is not possible.

For the longest time I simply accepted that I was going to lose a lot of brilliant ideas. It was always frustrating to remember that I had an idea, and that it was probably a great one, but that I just could not remember it. About a year ago, I decided to try and do something about it. Over time I have developed several ways.

1. Always have pen and paper handy. I keep a notepad by my bed, in my car, and somewhere on my body just about all the time. Even so, it isn’t always convenient to write down a lot of details about an idea (like when I’m driving, running, etc.), but I at least try to get something down that may spark my memory later on. I am almost never without at least a pocket notebook of some kind, and a pen.

2. Create a notebook exclusively for my ideas. Aside from the notebook I keep on me, I also write down my ideas in as much detail as I can in a dedicated notebook. As I further develop the idea I expand on what I have already written. I also use mind mapping to further explore and expand my ideas. I write down everything that comes to mind about the idea, no matter how crazy, disconnected, etc. it may seem. I have found that the unconscious mind sometimes contributes things that the conscious mind may not immediately understand.

3. Make good use of the voice recorder on my Droid. Sometimes writing things down is not possible, dangerous, or just inconvenient. But I still don’t want to lose my ideas, so I have started using the voice recorder on my phone to document them. Voice recording is quickly becoming my preferred method of capturing ideas when they first come to mind. For me, its a lot faster to talk into the mic than it is to scribble something down, and the end result is more understandable to me, and usually contains a lot more information.

I am actually finding that my voice recorder is very useful for expanding my ideas as well. It is becoming a major tool for me in planning and writing larger projects, like the LifeSkills course I am working on, or my first book which I hope to finish the first half of this year.

Fortunately, my Droid cell phone has a great and easy to use voice recorder. If you do not have a phone with a recorder, there are several digital voice recorders out there. It may be worth picking one up.

4. Spend time every day to cultivate new ideas, or expand existing ones. I don’t have a great rote memory. That is, it is sometimes difficult for me to remember details of things that don’t make sense, or aren’t somehow critical or inherent to a larger concept I am working on. I am, however, able to develop new high level ideas or concepts, or make connections between concepts, pretty easily. Therefore, most of the ideas I get are conceptual or high level in the beginning. Therefore, it is important for me to spend time time developing these details and writing them down.

As I mentioned before, I use mind mapping to further develop my high level ideas. I also use meditation and journaling. I try to use these methods as soon as I can after the initial idea has come to me, at least to solidify the concepts. I journal the results down in the notebook I discussed earlier, and revisit the ideas I think are worth pursuing several times to continue developing them.

5. Brainstorm with others. Finally, once I think I have an idea that is worth developing, and have enough information to actually at least communicate the concept, I may discuss it with others to get different perspectives. I have a couple of people that I regularly share ideas with, and have found that developing ideas with others can be very helpful and valuable. I never hesitate to take advice from people that I think are credible, or that I can learn from.

Many of the things I have discussed in this article are just common sense. However, at times we really don’t think about how important it may be to capture our ideas, or are not in the habit of writing or recording them because we assume we will remember the ideas that are worth remembering.

For people like me, who write a great deal and like developing new projects to help others (and myself) on their journey of personal growth, capturing a many ideas as possible is vital. But even for people who don’t run blogs, or write books, acknowledging and capturing ideas can be very useful, even life changing. After all, it only takes one brilliant idea to change your reality.

Adequate sleep is a must for everybody. Without it, our bodies and minds rapidly degenerate. Prolonged periods without sleep, or without enough sleep, can result in serious medical and psychological conditions, such as reducing the immune system’s ability to fight off disease, or even hallucinations.

Sleep experts say that adults need an average of seven to nine hours of sleep each night to be fully rested and alert. However, most Americans receive only between four and six hours sleep each night, and the quality of our sleep is also typically not that great. When the inevitable crash comes – and it will – sleep deprived people experience ultra-vivid dreams, and nightmares, that often make for a less than relaxing night’s rest.

As a consequence, sleep-deprived people do not function as well as those that are well-rested. In some occupations, such as airline pilots, this can be disastrous. The consequences for “normal” people can also be unpleasant. Irritability, inability to concentrate, irrational thinking, mood swings, and other similar problems can arise from lack of adequate sleep.

The good news is there are a number of ways we can get more and better rest each night.

Here are six tips for getting a better night’s rest:

• Try going to bed each night, and waking up each morning, at the same time. This establishes an internal routine that your body will have an easier time adapting to.
• Cut down on caffeine and alcohol consumption during the day. While it may seem like drinking alcohol makes it easier to relax and fall asleep, the quality people get after drinking alcohol – particularly to excess – is extremely poor. Caffeine is a stimulant, so best not to drink a lot during the day, and especially before bed, if you already have trouble sleeping.
• Keep the room comfortably dark. Its best to shut off or block any bright lights. If you have anxiety in extremely dark places, make sure there is a subtle light somewhere in the room. Make the room comfortable and safe for yourself.
• Get into a regular bedtime routine. Start your routine in time to fully relax before you go to bed. Some people read, drink a glass of water or milk, take a bath, or even meditate before bed. The important thing is to wind down and relax before you crawl into bed to sleep.
• Exercise regularly. I’ve posted a number of blogs on exercise and stress relief. I’ll continue to beat the drum. When you exercise you develop better mechanisms for dealing with stress. You also create a healthier body. All of this affects the quality of your sleep.
• If you still have trouble sleeping, don’t try and force yourself to fall asleep. This will only create more stress, and make it harder. If after 20 – 30 minutes in bed you cannot fall asleep, its best to get up and do some type of relaxing activity, such as meditation, and try again.

For many people, falling asleep is easy. For others, it can be difficult at times. Typically, for healthy people, periods of insomnia can be traced to some kind of stress, anxiety, or even anticipation of some future event, and is temporary. If you regularly have problems falling asleep, it may be time to talk to a professional. Seeing a medical doctor, or even a therapist, can yield great results.

Remember, while we may be tempted to skip sleep to get things done, doing so may have significant affects on our health, and on how much we actually get done. People who get adequate and good quality sleep are generally more creative and efficient. The next time you are thinking of trading sleep for getting things done, consider that you may actually feel better, and accomplish more, if you just go to bed and get to work when you are well rested.