Living as a purposeful being

What does it mean to live a purposeful life? Carl Rogers, a pioneer in the humanistic approach to psychotherapy, suggests that living a purposeful life is about being the person you truly are. But what if you don’t even know who you truly are? I mean, most of us do not know, otherwise we would be living purposefully, right?

Fortunately, Mr. Rogers provides some further insights into how we may move towards being the person we truly are. He contends that by moving away from the expectations of society and other individuals and towards self direction and self definition we may find who we truly are, and thereby live purposeful lives. Read more..

Importance of self care for success – 10 things you can do to eliminate stress right now

One of the things I am constantly working on for myself is self-care. What do I mean by self-care, you ask? Well, exactly what it sounds like. Self-care means finding ways to take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

Why is self care important?
People who do not take care of themselves, myself included, eventually become overwhelmed by stress. Some people call this “burnout.” Whatever you call it the effects are the same for most of us. We become irritable, fatigued, unable to concentrate on our work, maybe depressed, anxious, generally dissatisfied with life… and utterly ineffective. Read more..

Walking with nowhere to go

Doesn’t it sometimes seem like we are always going somewhere? Even when we are sitting perfectly still it feels like we are, or should be, going somewhere or moving towards some “thing.” If you feel this way it is a sure sign that you have stress in your life.

While it is important to have goals and destinations, it is unhealthy for the mind to remain in a constant state of activity. In the extremes this is called obsession. Sometimes it is best to detach from the demands of getting somewhere, allowing yourself time to reflect and reenergize.

There are ways to both calm your mind, allowing yourself to relax and detach from the stresses of life, and at the same time actually improve your effectiveness in achieving your goals.

One way is to learn and practice walking meditation. Read more..

Where to find a mentor

So you now know what mentors can do for you, and what to look for in a mentor, now we will talk about where to find a mentor.

Finding a mentor can be a daunting prospect for those who have not already actively sought a mentor before. But take heart, unless you have been living in isolation all of your life, you have had mentors in the past. They could have been teachers, coaches, friends, or your parents! So put the fear and trepidation behind you and go out and find those people whom you respect and feel could be good advocates, coaches and support for your in pursuing your career and life goals. Read more..

What to look for in a mentor

In the first article of the mentoring series, Mentors, we talked about the value of having a network of mentors you can tap to better your personal and professional life. Now we will talk about what you should look for in a mentor.

There are many types of mentors. There are peer mentors, or mentors of equal status or rank, who exchange information or advice amongst each other. This type of mentoring relationship works on the basis of reciprocity. When actively pursuing this type of mentoring relationship, the most important factor is trust, both in terms of trustworthiness, and in terms of trusting the expertise or judgment of the perspective mentor. These types of mentors are often easiest to find, and the relationships are usually informal. Read more..

Mentors

A good friend of mine contacted me the other day to let me know that he had been promoted to a senior management position in his company. Of course I was happy for him. After all, I hired him into the company, and was his boss for many years. I enjoyed working with him and it is easy to understand why he has succeeded in his goals so far. He is good with people, has sound judgment, is energetic, a quick learner and is considered by his peers and bosses to be a subject matter expert.

Not only was I happy for him, but a bit proud of myself if I am honest. His success validated not only my judgment, but also the advice I have given him since I left the company in pursuit of other opportunities. And one of the most valuable pieces of advice I gave him was to develop a network of mentors who could help him navigate through the treacherous waters of corporate advancement. Read more..

How to overcome negative thinking

We all have our moments when we have bizarre or irrational thoughts. For most of us, this sort of distorted thinking usually happens when we are in intense or emotional situations, like when we are angry, sad, excited, etc.

Logically, we would assume that since our thoughts tend to become more emotional as we become more emotional, that the emotion is the cause of the thoughts. However, research has showed us that this is not the case. In fact, every emotion or feeling you have is a result of your thoughts, or how you speak to yourself inside your own mind.

So if your self-talk is negative or depressing, your mood will become depressed. If it is positive and encouraging, your mood will be positive and encouraging. So why do we have negative thoughts at all, if they are the cause of our negative feelings and emotions? Good question. Some experts point to complex neurochemical interactions in the brain, others to environmental influences, others to the foods we eat… In my view, the cause is a combination of all of these things, and others. Read more..

Well-formed outcomes

How can you get what you want unless you know what it is? Many of us think we know what we want. We know we want a nice house on the beach, or a new car, or more time to spend with friends and family.

However, while we may have an idea about what we want in life sometimes we haven’t really given thought to how to get what we want, what the real costs will be when we get it, or even if getting what we want is aligned with our values and life’s purpose.

Without thinking seriously about these aspects, getting what we want may be impossible, or in the end turn out to be not at all like what we thought it would be. Read more..

The importance of personal ritual

Every evening around ten o’clock I take a walk on the beach with my daughter. As I was walking on the beach tonight I began to think about my own rituals and the roles they play in my life.

Walking on the beach in the evenings has been a ritual of mine for a long time, and now that we have been blessed with Scarlet I have begun taking her with me. This walk with my daughter, although she is only seven weeks old and sleeps the entire time, has become very special to me as it gives us a chance to bond, and gives me the opportunity to reflect on what it means to be a father. The walk also gives us both time to decompress at the end of each day and get ready for sleep. Read more..

Self-hypnosis for positive change

Did you know that you can hypnotize yourself? That’s right; you don’t need anybody else’s help to go into a trance. Self hypnosis is relatively easy to do, and there are a lot of reasons why you would want to do it. Here are just a few. Read more..

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